Overextension

The stress dreams have swung around again. Things in my personal life have been difficult, and there’s been a lot of feeling like I don’t have much ground to stand on.

Yesterday, while I was trying to sort through the bad taste the latest dream had left on my waking life, my mom came in from watching the news in the other room and said there were a lot of shootings across the country happening that day. Several landed in San Francisco, where I live and go to school most of the year. Politics-related and targeting republicans in one instance, supposedly. Terrorists giving all decent, loving people of all colors and religions and political opinions a really, really bad name.

My heart is so heavy.

I pray the majority of said decent, loving people would know that the insanity of these hate fires doesn’t represent the whole.

The Internet helps us stay connected, but it spreads us so frightfully thin. Thinner than we were designed for, perhaps.

Something to stay mindful of.

It’s so easy for our news apps and social media to shove catastrophe in our face at all times, silently, imperceptibly accusing us of being horrible, selfish people for being unable to hold it all. In the face of so much going on in the world today, it’s so easy to let it fill you with so much outrage and fear and despair that you forget the old lady next door makes cookies on Tuesdays, or that your friend and his husband want to go on a hike with you, or that your parents are overjoyed to have you home from school for a little while. That strangers on the crowded bus readily squish and move over to let you wade through and dismount at your stop. That if you ask someone on the street for directions, they’ll do their best to help.

I know it feels like the world is falling to pieces.

Please please please do not let fear hold your heart.