Exhaustion and Desire

I am wracked with warning signs when I thought I was setting myself free.

I’m tired of sleeping but I’m afraid to be awake:

Racing, gasping, tripping toward a finish line that seems forever away. And I wonder if I have the strength to go on. How can I believe I am good where I am when inadequacy is a constant driving force?

I don’t feel sick,

but I don’t feel well.

Never fully ahead. Never at peace in the mire.

My wrists are sore and weak. My hips, shoulders and neck ache.

My courage drains away and I am left with the familiar voice of exhaustion,

“Not good enough,

Never good enough.”

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